head vs. wall

My head's against the wall again, and I don’t bother
Checking on my phone at all
Don’t wanna try love again,
'Cause the scars run too deep
And I can’t ever sleep as it is
You have your new friends, and I’m happy for that
Got your whole life ahead,
Hope it’s good, I’ll be glad
And lately I just stare and reflect on my past
Wonder how my life got so far off the tracks
Blade against my wrist again, and it’s been harder
Trying to be sober at all
The future makes me scared as ****,
'Cause the past ****** me up
And I think I’m just better alone
Isolate myself again, and I don’t bother
Trying to get better at all
It’s just a lie I tell my friends,
So they don’t have to fret
'Til I'm laid down to rest at the end at the end
My head's against the wall again, and I don’t bother
Checking on my phone at all
Don’t wanna try love again,
'Cause the scars run too deep
And I can’t ever sleep as it is