The Night The Pugilist Learned How To Dance

In the streets around here
there was nobody tougher than me
I was quick with me fists and
fast with me footwork as you can
plainly see
But while fighting was useful
for getting your way
Among the toughs of the town
where you could hold sway
There had to be something that
was better than this
I was fifteen years old and
I'd never been kissed
Well of course she'd ignore me
her friends would all sneer
At me bloody nose dripping and
me cauliflower ear
For it's hard to convince in a
romantic pose
With a lovely black eye and a
broken nose
Where a girl is attracted to
skills more refined
Than the pugilist's art and so
I inclined
To take meself serious as a
modern romancer
And I secretly learnt all the
moves of a dancer
Ye swing to the left ye swing
to the right
Keep your eyes on your partner
more or less like a fight
Ye just follow the rhythm and
ye keep to the beat
The important thing's never to
look at your feet
Then a miracle happens your
mind's in a trance
Though the strategy's subtle
retreat and advance
It's all about attitude all in
your stance
Attention to detail leaving
nothing to chance
Which explains how the pugilist
finally learned how to dance
Well I'd waltz with a
broomstick and if I was caught
I'd pretend I was sweeping or
practicing sport
But I really had eyes for your
mother ye see
Wanting her to acknowledge this
new version of me
But now everyone's watching
expecting I'll fail
But there's fire in me belly
there's wind in me sails
I knew it was risky and
I was taking a chance
I couldn't retreat now
I had to advance
So I swing to the left
I swing to the right
Keep me eyes on me partner like
I would in a fight
I just keep to the rhythm and
follow the beat
The important thing's never to
look at yr feet
But a miracle's happened and
your mind's in a trance
They're all laughing and
cheering and looking askance
On the night that the pugilist
finally learned how to dance
It's a three minute round and
you're back in yr corner
You're licking yr wounds just
like little Jack Horner
Don't let your guard down try a
jab with your right
Or you're losing on points by
the end of the night
Then a miracle happens and
everyone's screaming
You're pinching yourself just in
case you're still dreaming
You've taken the initiative
you've taken your chance
It's the night when this
pugilist finally learned
how to dance
In a bout where the strategist's
bridges were burned
Where it seemed that his fortune
had suddenly turned
Twas the night that this
scrapper was suddenly dapper
And this poor fellow's heart was
still going like the clappers
The night that the pugilist
finally learned how to dance