I Hate New Years

It's January 1st 2021
现在是2021年1月1日
And I'm in my feelings
我心里感觉
And I just wanna rap
我只想rap
**** a hook
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Yeah, why do I feel like I'm depressed
为什么我如此沮丧
I feel like my whole life is a mother****ing stress
我的生活就是压力
Sometimes I see the news and wish that I could die next
有时看着新闻希望下一个死的是我
It's a crippling feeling that most could never digest
颓废的状态无法转变
Every January 1st I don't wanna wake up
每个1月1日都不想醒来
That's the day I met this girl who totally ****ed me up
那天是我和遇见的女孩分手的日子
Mentally, the PTSD's hurt and all of it sucks
精神上，PTSD的痛苦，一切都很糟糕
It left a hole chest that money can't cover up
它留下了一个金钱无法掩盖的漏洞
Was never enough, I felt it deep in my bones
永远无法填满，深入骨髓
Always feeling disconnected, always glued to my phone
总是感觉不在状态，总是用手机消磨时间
Tired of fakes friends, I cut them off so now I'm alone
厌烦虚情假意的朋友，现在我已是一人
They don't love me for me they only love me cuz I'm known
他们爱我不是因为我，他们爱我只是因为我为人所知
I got fans who support me and wanna see me win
我有粉丝支持我，希望我变好
But I feel like a loser Im a need a bottle of gin
但我是个失败者，需要一瓶金酒
I made a million dollars but there's nothing to give
我赚了一百万，但没有可以给予的
If there's a god, tell me where has he been
如果有上帝，告诉我他去哪了
I been searching for real
我一直在寻找真实
Every new years, I get in my feels
每个一年，我都陷入情绪
Cuz I hate the way that I ****ing feel
我恨这情绪
I got scars that don't heal
我的伤疤无法愈合
It's a new year but it's the same pain in my heart
这是一个新的一年，但我一样的痛苦
And that's a hurt thats gon' stick with me still
那是一种伤害，它会一直伴随着我
I wonder if real love is something that I can find
我想知道我是否能找到真爱
In a world full a fakes who keep wasting my time
充斥着虚假的世界里，一直浪费我的时间
I been questioning my faith and I'm loosing my mind
我质疑我的信仰，失去了理智
If god is real then show me sign
如果上帝存在，那就给我一个记号