Hate Your Guts

When I was 17, I wished I was 23
When I hit 23, I wished I was 17
Now I'm almost 29, I wish I was 85
It would be statistically unlikely you'd be alive
Because I hate your guts
Shit I hate you so much
I hope you suffer a small paper cut
I hope your boss makes you stay for a half hour more
Because I hate your guts
And I wish I didn't love you anymore
I hate the way you breathe
The stupid way you sneeze
I hate everything you eat
And I'm stuck in your teeth
The way you steal the sheets
When we go to bed
As I guessed they're a hole in the back of your head
Because I hate your guts
Shit I hate you so much
I hope the battery dies on your phone
I hope your favourite TV show fails to record
Because I hate your guts
And I wish I didn't love you anymore
Wish I didn't love you
Woah
Wish I didn't love you
Woah
Wish I didn't love you
Woooaaah
I hope when I'm out on tour
You lose your keys to the door
Because I hate your guts
And I wish I didn't love you anymore
Wish I didn't love you
Woah
Wish I didn't love you
Woah
Wish I didn't love you
Woooaaah
So you must be mistaken,
If you want to date me,
You'd be more respected,
If you were to hate me,
There's so many warnings
You choose to ignore
Because I hate your guts,
And I wish I didn't love you anymore...
I hate your guts!