Women Lose Weight

what a surprise
多惊喜
open your eyes
睁大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顾问
the name of this entertainement is
今天的娱乐节目名字叫
women lose weight
《女人减肥》
our first years of mariage everything was just great
新婚燕尔，一切是那么美好
but after two kids
但自从有了两个小孩
and a weight gain factor
体重渐渐上涨
the fact is
now shes completely unattractive
她已逝去魅力
look fat chicks
看着就像小胖鸡
i dont mean to sound rude
我不想这么尖酸
i tell her nice hit the gym
我婉转建议她去健身房
and dont eat so much food
别吃那么多
but no
但是她说
your shallow
你真肤浅
you need to run the course of unconditionnal love and so forth
你应该无条件爱我
but how if desires is not there
但如果欲望不再
thats just a lamon
只剩下悲伤（lament）
divorces, child support alamony payments
离婚、抚养费、赡养费 （alimony payments）
my unhappiness i doubt discourage
我对我的不幸深表怀疑
so hurry for an easier way out of this marriage
想快点逃离这场婚姻
meanwhile my secretary june well groomed
我的漂亮秘书June问我
when you gonna leave your wife
“你什么时候跟你妻子摊牌”
i tell her soon mommy soon i assume
我告诉她“快了快了
or my destiny is blue
不然我过的太惨了”
intrest only
有趣的是
the only thing left for me to do is to kill her
现在我唯一能做的就是杀了我妻子
what a surprise
多惊喜
open your eyes
睁大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顾问
im gonna have to kill her
我就要去杀她了
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
只为了顺理成章的离婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停尸房
kill her
做掉她
what a surprise
多惊喜
open your eyes
睁大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顾问
im gonna have to kill her
我就要去杀她了
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
只为了顺理成章的离婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停尸房
my place against all shanagans
我的计划或者说是恶作剧
kinda rammed in
还有些不成熟
knowin nothing about poison
对下毒一无所知
and i cant swim
也不会游泳
bad intentions pumpin
坏念头多了起来
might as well become a nun
渐渐变得麻木
cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong
割开她的肺或者来一次抢劫
what the catch is do i have the nerve to dispatch this
问题是我能把这任务派给别人吗
who could i get to help me murder this fat chick
有谁能帮我杀掉这小胖鸡
guess i have to play a dude robbin on wednesday
估计周三我得做一回罗宾汉
the day she usually goes food shopping
那天她回去采购食物
anyway long story short hit the side of her chrysler
无论如何，长话短说吧，我击中了她那辆克莱斯勒
sent her clean over the divider
把她逼到边缘
"you bastard" she said as the wreck went tumblin down the hill
“你这混蛋”她说这这句话和残骸一起滚下山
i thought "she has to be dead"
我想她应该死了
later on get a call
然后我接了个电话
(from a) lieutenant morgue
一个陆军中尉打来的
(had me) leapin like a frog
让我像个青蛙一样高兴地蹦起来
we need you at the morgue
“我们需要你来停尸房一趟”
so i selfishly persued
为了我自私的追求
"boohoo" there was nothing else for me to do i had to kill her
除了杀她，我也不能做其他的了
what a surprise
多惊喜
open your eyes
睁大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顾问
cmon yall know i had to kill her
拜托我也是不得不杀了她
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
为了顺理成章的离婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停尸房
kill her
做掉她
what a surprise
多惊喜
open your eyes
睁大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顾问
i had to kill her
我必须做掉她
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
为了顺理成章的离婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停尸房
so you mean to tell me officer you dont have no clue who did this hit and run
“所以警官，你们没有凶手的任何线索？”
no sir we dont have no clues right now
“是的先生，现在我们还没有任何头绪”
this is terrible what am i gonna tell the kids?
“这太糟糕了，我该怎么跟孩子讲”
pull yourself together sir
“您要振作一点，先生”
im so broken up inside i just cant believe this
“我已心如死灰了，太不能接受了”
i understand, i understand
“我们理解的”
catch the person who did this
“请你们一定要抓住凶手”
were gonna try sir
“我们会的，先生”
please
“求你们了”
screamin "who done took my heart" like i was shooken up a lot
我尖叫着“谁带走了我最亲爱的人”，装着浑身颤抖
at the funeral though everyone was lookin at me odd like i did it
葬礼上人人都奇怪的盯着我，就像知道是我做的一样
like i was the reason my mates slain murmuring
好像我就是我妻子被谋杀的原因
"i heard he was displeased with her weight gain"
“我听说他一直对她变胖不满呐”
while my secretary sort of a ***y blonde cant cook
我的性感金发秘书并不会做饭
all she does is order from restaurants
她只会点外卖
all of the *** she wants
她的性需求我都能满足
i doubt could have dressed, clothes not washed proper and house look a mess and
成堆的衣服不洗，房间乱的像猪窝
talkin to detectives that was waitin outside
和等在屋外的侦探交谈
how i took a long lunch break day the wife died
自从妻子死后我过的多心酸
i done then turned pail
我脸色变得苍白（darn near turn pale）
and because of betrayal they indited me, gave me an impossible bail
因为他们要起诉我，给我一个根本给不起的保释金
good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent
欣赏原始帐篷的人运气好
moral of the story is
这个故事寓意就是
desire is important
欲望非常重要
so watch your weight
所以注意体重
itll keep you mate smitten its a given
保持对另一半的吸引力
though looking back i realised i didnt have to kill her
当我回想，其实我没必要杀她
what a surprise
多惊喜
open your eyes
睁大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顾问
i didnt have to kill her
我没必要杀她的
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
为了顺理成章的离婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停尸房
i killed her
做掉了她
what a surprise
多惊喜
open your eyes
睁大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顾问
i didnt have to kill her
我没必要杀她
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
为了顺理成章的离婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停尸房
well there you have it
好了，现在你该明白
keep thin trim
保持身材
keep your mariage healthy
维持你的婚姻健康
do you know what i mean?
你懂我想说什么吧？
small message from morcheeba and slick rick the ruler
这是来自Morcheeeba和Slick Rick的小小忠告