Jason's Bar Mitzvah

JASON: Whizzer, hey!
Suddenly it all came clear:
I said, let's have my bar mitzvah here!
MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, JASON, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA: Surprise!
MARVIN: This was Jason's brilliant idea!
And I brought the prayer shall
MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, JASON, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA: Ooo- It's Jason's bar mitzvah!
MENDEL: Don't you move
Everything will soon be great
Close your eyes
While we redecorate
CORDELIA: I'll unwrap the billion hors d'oeuvres
And someone, eat them, please
ALL: Ooo- It's Jason's bar mitzvah!
TRINA: Lovely, flowers make things lovely
Champagne makes things lovely, too
Everything's amiss
MENDEL: Drink up
Anyone for bubbly?
TRINA: Probably, it's doubly useful at a time like this
Cheers
ALL: Cheers
TRINA: And aren't things lovely?
I feel more helpless than I have in years
MARVIN: Try this on
Mendel, get this in gear
WHIZZER: Please excuse me
If I interfere
But I feel that, since I'm the host
It's me who should toast him
MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA: Ooo, ooo
WHIZZER: To Jason's bar mitzvah!
(The men depart to help Jason get ready)
CHARLOTTE: I notified the nurses
Told them please to not intrude
CORDELIA: I passed around the food
Then dumped some extra food
'Cause, Lord knows, we've got plenty
CHARLOTTE: She's cooked for some 200 guests
CORDELIA: We number not that many
Actually..., we're seven
CHARLOTTE: Maybe it's not dumb
The way this whole thing ends
The food tastes really yummy!
CORDELIA: Oh, mummy
CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA: The flowers seem to sparkle (TRINA: Lovely)
The candelabra sets the tone
The wine is very soothing (TRINA: I must make things)
Soothes the "something, something"
Someone needed soothing (TRINA: Put everything)
CHARLOTTE: I think, perhaps, I'm overdressed (TRINA: In its place)
CORDELIA: I think, perhaps, it doesn't matter (TRINA: Ready for the...)
CORDELIA: That you are (TRINA: Band)
CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA: Here we are. Jason's bar mitzvah looks like the books say it should
TRINA, CHARLOTTE, AND CORDELIA: Cheers
TRINA: And aren't things lovely? (CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA: Everything is lovely)
TRINA, CHARLOTTE, AND CORDELIA: I feel more helpless than I have in years
MENDEL AND WHIZZER: Here he comes
MENDEL: Fix his tie
Trina, try to make him smile more
WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA: Don't know why, but he looks... like Marvin
MARVIN: How did you turn out so great?
Who do I thank for the man you've turned into?
Kid, do you know
How proud I am?
If I don't show
How proud I am...
You hold my dreams, kid. I burst at the seams 'cause of you
MENDEL: Son of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob
Son of Marvin, Son of Trina, Son of Whizzer, Son of Mendel
MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, JASON, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA: And godchild to the lesbians from next door
MENDEL: Sing! Oh, sing! Oh, sing!
JASON: Vie-eme-low yea-o-leh
Heh-oh-non vi-low
Ah-yis-is-ooh ay-ysi-ro-ale
Ha-ooh low toe vo-o-meem
Aboh