Let It Go

My momma gave me up when I was four years old
She didnt destroy my body, but she killed my soul
Now its cold cause Im sleepin in my back seat
I understand the spirits willing, but my flesh is weak
Let me speak
I never had a chance to dream
ten years old and findin love in dirty magazines
Ms. December you remember, I bought ya twice
Now Im thirty plus and still payin the price
Had a sister that I barely knew
Kinda got separated by the age of two
Same momma different daddy so we couldnt fake it
I saw my sisters daddy beat her in the tub naked
Take it serious the demons in a mans mind
The same man on rape charges now hes doin time
Crack followed him and like daddy prison thirteen years
Havent seen her I guess shes traded tears for fears
Shout, Shout,
Let it all out
These are the things I can do without
So come on,
Im talkin to you
So Come on
*** was how I made it through
Without someone to teach you love, what else is there to do?
See where Im from they call you gay, say you aint a man
Show them you aint no punk
Get all the girls you can
A simple plan that still haunts me now today
Back to seventeen and got a baby on the way
No GED, all I see is failure in my eyes
If you listening and remember I apologize
I was raised falling in the church
Made mistakes and heard the Lords calling in the church
After service in the parking lot getting high
Wanted to be acceptedso bad I was willing to die
Even tried to tell the Pastor, but he couldnt see
Years of low self-esteem and insecurities
Church taught me how to shout and how to speak in tongues
But preacher, teach me how to live now when the tongue is done, help me
Shout, Shout, Let it all out
These are the things I can do without
So come on
Im talking to you
So come on
See I, See I
I just wanna let it go, just wanna let it go, just let it go
Jesus please on my knees cant You hear me crying
You said to put it in Your hands and Lord Im really trying
You wasnt lying when You said You reap what you sow
Like that night momma died, its hard to let it go
You adopted me , cared for me, changed my name
But I cursed at you, lied to you, left you pain
Its not strange I can still see it in my head
To know for hours you were lying there in that bed
If youre listening to this record
If its day or night
If you momma is still living, treat your momma right
Dont be like me and let that moment slip away
And be careful cause you cant take back what you say
To my real momma if youre listening Im letting it go
To my father, I forgive you, cause you didnt know
That the pain was the preparation for my destiny
And one more thing Lord let my son be a better man than me
Shout, Shout, Let it all out
These are the things I can do without
So come on
Im talking to you
So come on