picket fence

I was up and out my mothers house at 17
Been a grown ass married man ever since
Family reunions, Im talked about but never seen
Cause I learned that some of them can be your nemesis
Got a lot of scars on me, Ill now tell you the stories
If, you promise not to take offense
Homie, sit back then, hand bring the beat in
Ill try to find a place that starts to make sense now
The first time I was pushed out blind
Cold and naked, spanked on the ass to breathe
An immigrant from heaven on earth with a WORK VISA
I announce my self with gasps and screams
Before black and white supremacy, heighted my innocence
I was living out life behind the picket fence
Happy go lucky scared of no one
With the only exception, Im allergic to the sun
Didnt know I had a image that a camera couldnt capture
100% Allahs manufacture
But then came the laughter, and outside Im battered
Picket fence shattered
I saw my self as bastard tagalong, harassed and spat upon
By the children of slave masters who passed it on
The saddest songs been sung at the hands of who I call the race from hell
Its a disgrace from hell
Fell face first in the self hate
Burst into tears when I hear my own hellish name cursed
If I seem timid, its only because every mirror that I saw back then had the
earths ugliest human being in it
And with that said, they would kick me till they got tired or I act dead
And I, have to tell yall that the obvious part
That I always feel free when Im talkingto god
Alone on the playground, Friday afternoon
And the, old sister who hums gospel toons
I saw her notice getting closer
She approached me and put a knowing hand on my shoulder
And booked my feelings
Cause she looked at me in a way that adults very seldom look at children
And with the wisdom only earned by years
She read my thoughts and she welled up with tears and said
'You look the way you do because youre special
Not the short bus way, I mean that Gods gonna test you
And all of this pain is training for the day when you
will have to lead with the gift God gave to you
Grown folks dont see it but the babies do
And theres a chance that you can save a few'
And time will prove that, she started my movement
She didnt tell me to take it - she told me to use it
The second time poppa ripped the womb open early
And exposed me to the coldness life prematurely
Where moms love used to live, now housed denial
And when that decayed, it made it bitter and spiteful
But me and my runaway, we share something special
Rode into the sunset, can barely can tough the pedals
No strings attached, screaming, 'fuck Geppetto'
We may live in the gutter, but we cling to each other
A week before my son came, I caught a bad bounce
And had to step to mom with my hands out
And momma proved the two of us could not live in that house
She lied to the police so they would throw us in the streets
And separating from you, is something that I feel I must do
Its not that I dont love you, its more that I dont trust you
Its been a year since Ive seen a living relative
And its just now that Im starting to live
But while Im sitting here, choking on tears wishing that I didnt care
Feeling all alone in this hemisphere, I swear upon everything I hold dear
And then my wife comes near, and I hear a voice whisper in my ear
'Youre going through all of this because youre special
Not no superstar shit, I mean that God had to test you
And all of this pain has been training for the day when you
would lead us with the gift God gave to you
Your parents might not see it but your babies do
And theres a chance that you can save a few'
And time will prove that, she started my movement
She didnt tell me to take it, she told me to use it
So I use it