Jason Waste

Hi my name is
Jason and
Im not gay {
People are so damn crazy up in
Jasons world}
People call me a waste man, cause
I havent got a job (what a knob) {
He dont wanna get out of bed}
Bed, up, make tea, shower, eat,
Paste, wee, change, go, make teas,
Alarm , snooze back to sleep
All of my little brothers, always call me a waste man {
Waste man, waste man}
Because Im 27, and
Im living down in the ba*** **t {
Waste man}
Im so complacent, so
I will stay here
Theyre banging on my door, but
I wont chase em
Cause Im so lazy, the last few days
I Havent seen daylight, havent shaved
And they can say what they like, they just hate me
Cause I never let em have a go on my
PlayStation (piss off)
They said
Im fat I need to go to the gym
I dont wanna be fat,
I wanna be slim
Did a minute on the treadmill went for a swim
Little kids jumped out soon as
I jumped in
Now Im in the changing room
Hi my name is
Jason and
Im not gay
Im looking at your thing but its not what you think
Im think to myself why is mine not as big
So I think dirty thoughts so
I can get it bigger
Beyonce, look at me now
Im a killer
I said Im not gay go away stop wishing
I just wanted a bit of stiff competition {
Erm, sorry
Jason} What, what do you want? {
Weve just had a complaint}
Piss off {
Froma very valued client}
I said piss off {
Sadly resulting in us revoking your membership}
Shut up I dont care
This is a crap gym {
Well, mate, just leave , please}
It doesnt work, how do
I know it works
Im still fat, why am
I still fat {
Just go, please}
Its a ** ** gym
Sod off I got a baby mum and a lovely little son
Lovely boy but his is mum is very very dumb
I was very very drunk,
I told her lot of secrets
Very very drunk,
I told her not to keep it
Anyway she had it, sorry had him,
Darren His grandmother
Karen, wanted to call him
Gavin But
I didnt have it,
I was working at
Maplin Gavin was my manager and
I wanted to slap him
Cause he wanted to sack me, cause
I wanted to stab him
Cause my girl liked him and she wanted to shag him
Hes a bit bigger, but
I know I could have him
As a matter of fact he kinda looks like
Darren I still got sacked and this is how it happened
Some Nigerian guy called
Tunde Who told me to call him
Thomas for short
Walked into the store, said he wanted to talk
At first I wasnt sure, but because he was nice, to me
And he kinda showed me his nine
He brought a lot of stuff and he told me to swine
But this is a womans car {
Shut up its for my wife)
He would come in like every fortnight
And buy the same i
Pod 4 times
Apparently he was doing the same thing with
Tariq Who told the police my name when it happened (It was Jason) {
Hello Jason}
What? {Were from the
Metropolitan
Police fraud department)
Police! {Wed like ask you a few...}
Oink oink! {
Excuse me?}
Oink, youre a pig {
Excuse me?!}
Listen go away man,
I dont wanna get arrested
I wanna rest ,
I wanna sleep {
Look, youre coming with me}
All my little brothers smoke **** {
Oh my goodness}
Come and arrest them, or theyll do murder
Bed I can sleep till the world ends
And I aint in a rush for a girlfriend
All I ever do is fail them
Cause all
I ever do is tell them the true
If youre fat youre fat, *****, aint nothing wrong with that
Dont switch
Im, just telling you a fact
Do you think youre thin? {
Well no} Well then {
I hate you!}
I abuse most of them
I think thats how
I lose most of them
I dont want to get too close to them
After what happened to
Elton in school
Elton was cool
But he had a girlfriend that didnt want to do things he wanted to
Do {I said no!}
She said no but he went ahead and felt her {
Get off me!}
I think hes just coming out of
Feltham My last girl was a wannabe
WAG {Hi!}
Who went everywhere in a cab
I told her
Im rich She took me to
Harrod And picked up this
Gucci worth a grand
I went quiet like words from my gran
Cause thats too much to spend on a slag
I mean thats too much to spend on a bag
As soon as we got to the till,
I ran {Where you going?!}
Then my mobile rang {
Ello? } It was my first love,
Ann {Hi Jason}
She said she split up with her man {
Hes gone}
And shes in need of a bang {
Come round}
I said Ill be on a bus in a minute
She said 'you better not bust in a minute'
I got prang and rushed to the chemist
Excuse me, have you got anything for men that ejaculate premature? {
Oh yes} He took me to the back of the store
He gave me a spray, whats this for? {
Put a little on the top just before}
Got to her house, clock says 4
Shes worn out ,
Im wanting more
Cause shes sore she went down south
And I think shes saying she cant feel her mouth
Oi, Anna, speak loud
Are you saying you cant feel your mouth ? {
Mm mm mm!}
Are you saying where is this mouse?
What, you want me to take your couch?
Look if you want to kiss me, out
Thats when she kicked me, ouch
I think shes trying to kick me out
Just tell me if you wanna get me out
Im gone