This Changes Nothing

Now you can be sad, or numb, that's the option I been given
Between the two I think I'd rather, just be done with living
Now Im lying to the doctor, just to stay off of prescriptions
I would rather die whole than to live with something missing
Besides they can't prescribe the things I really need
Love and some good friends rolling up some weed
She's saying that my anger always gets the best of me
You're just covering the symptoms, you're not curing the disease
No I think you're bipolar, you need to go to therapy
It's not that I don't love you it's just that youre kind of scaring me
How it feels to know the ones I love are scared of me
Like they can't take me anywhere, I'm always so embarrassing
Today my shattered life is in shambles
Try to move on, but it seems I'm at a standstill
So I spend most of my time all by myself
So when I self harm at least I hurt nobody else
Now I'm so far gone
I'm not sure why I'm holding on
Don't you tell me it's okay no nothings's ever been so wrong
Cause I hate living in my skin
I tried so hard I don't fit in
Maybe one day I'll come home and you can waste my time again
What you know about emotions that control you?
What you know about it when they say they miss the old you
The suicidal one who figured out some things instead
Now they say they liked you better when you wished that you were dead
Well I guess now you're getting your request here it is
2020 almost killed me '21 could do the trick
What you know about only getting through the night because
If you can wait another year you'll get to join the 27 club
A lot of things changed, new whip new bracket
Put another friend in a baby blue casket
Another month spent crying in my basement
Ask me where my glock is
Ask me how my day went
How do I explain my life is like an empty frame
Like a stencil that's still waiting to be drawn onto the page
Saying everything is fine
Yeah I'll be okay
While I dream of my own suicide every fvcking day
Now I'm so far gone
I'm not sure why I' m holding on
Don't you tell me it's okay no nothings's ever been so wrong
Cause I hate living in my skin
I tried so hard I don't fit in
Maybe one day I 'll come home and you can waste my time again
All I do is overthink
Throw me in now and watch me sink
Always anxious I can't breath
I just want to get some sleep
I'm in pain
All I know eternal disdain
Trying to improve enhancing my mood
But I know pretty soon it's back to my ways
Back to my roots and back to my vices
Starting a new my mental health crisis
I'm no prize see through my disguises
Jakovite been radicalized it's time it's