Reflection

The reflection of my face
Some wouldn't even recognize
Oh, who put me in this place
I wouldn't even recognize
Time has been so cruel
I could've blamed me but I blame you
I do
Lately I feel lost, tell me if you find me
It's hard to put the past behind me
When my mind just sits there and keeps reminding me
Of all the bullshit that I kept inside me
I'm not lying when I tell you I feel like I'm lost
It just feels like I'm trapped in my thoughts
I just sit there and think, and I think, and I think
And I think and I think, I lost it all
I am at home, I got my back against the wall
I feel hella alone I got no one to call
And I'm still on my own because no one's involved
Tell me, where do I go when everything falls?
Damn, I guess that's why I'm making this song
I just sit and reflect on every single thing that went wrong
My best friend, he turned out to be a fake
The real definition of becoming a snake
And I lost my girl too and that was my mistake
I put music above her and it took her place
And she's the one I love and my heart it just breaks
Because now I'm alone, there's no girl to replace
See I tried to re -date, but it's always a waste
Ever since she left nothing's ever been the same
Lately it feels like I just been wilding out
There's too many things that I'm finding out
And my passion has been slowly dying out
And I'm still inside of a hole and I'm climbing out
Just to stumble over, but I'm trying now
Lost my composure, so I write it out
I'm feeling depressed and I'm hiding out
I think that's why I'm crying out
The reflection of my face
Some wouldn't even recognize
Oh, who put me in this place
I wouldn't even recognize
Time has been so cruel
I could've blamed me but I blame you
I do
I guess I'm to blame, can't lie to me
Walk in the room and they start eyeing me
Feeling overwhelmed with my anxiety
So I stay to myself and I overthink quietly
I stare in the mirror and I vent there alone
You say you been there when I' m on my own
You say you'll be there when I know you won't
And you say you love me when I know you don't
I swear this depression isn't a mutha* ***in' joke
Anxiety too, I deal with them both
I been losing my faith and my hope
Still haven't found a way I can cope
Yeah, I think loving myself is the very thing that I need most
'Cause, I lost everyone else that I thought I would always keep close
And to think, I gave you all that I can
You took advantage of me and ran
I made you who you are now I ask
What would you flip on me I don't understand?
Told myself never again, never reach out for a hand
Never put trust in a friend , never give up where you stand
I gave everybody a chance just to see we didn't last
Nothing that I been doing has been panning out
I'm suffering and you stand around
And I'm falling so ****ing hard I could smash the ground
Wishin' that I could have my mom and dad around
Anxiety got the best of me and I'm spazzing out
Exhausted so much I feel like just passing out
I wanted the fame, you can have it now...
'Cause I ain't the same you can ask around, 'cause
The reflection of my face
Some wouldn't even recognize
Oh, who put me in this place
I wouldn't even recognize
Time has been so cruel
I could've blamed me but I blame you
I do