Selfish

The end is far away.
Not getting too much sleep these days.

These things I cant explain.
Just wishing for an early grave,
but they dont understand me.

I wanna be selfish.

Only reason Im still alive,
Cant stand to see my mother cry.
Ill suffer through.
Only reason I wont die,
Cant stand the tears in her eyes.
Ill be home soon.
The saddest thing is,
its the only thing that I want.
I wonder sometimes why
I dont just give up and take my life.
And they have no idea,
that Im so close to my dying day.
Theres no coming back from this hell.

I want to be free from this.