the last song (feat. ever last)

If this the last song I ever wrote
If it were to be the night that these ************s murdered me
If it were to be a car crash swerving into a Mercury
Burgundy splash through the glass when sirens circle me
I will be viewed as violent certainly
Drug-addled so maybe I've only written the worst of me
Maybe by me even writing these words I 'm tempting the fates
They come from the heart sent from a place
I couldn't find in my mind, I was blind, I was lost
In a time warp when a mind walked from a sick scene on a sidewalk
Full of suicide thoughts, full of false dreams and hopes that you and I bought
Like **** so we had to find things to cope
Ended up covered in dirt not washed with soap
We ended up learning all about the cost of coke
By the rope and seen some good folks lost from ****
I can't begin to begin, I'm just horrified
You're ? me ? this thing, you think it's glorified
I just hear the pendulum swing again and again
The same song, broken dreams and dead friends
I been where I been now I stand where I am
As a man with a mic in his hand now goddamn
Back holding the crack planet that's covered with monkeys
As I walk through the halls of recovering junkies
If this was the last song I ever wrote
I'd tell you to grab it by the throat
If this is the last song I ever write
I'll tell you to stand back up and fight
Live your life, give your life
Stand up and fight, young man
Live your life, give your life
Stand up and fight, young man
If these the last words I ever spoke
Would you listencloser?
Would you close your eyes, envision what I'm supposed to be?
Just a ghost of my boys that overdosed
On crushed-up poison, crushed with the noise of the ocean
Way before Affleck or Coka Nostra
Before I had a cashed cheque or a poster
Rode sofa to sofa clutching on the old toaster
Writing on spray paper, grey days of cold culture
Devil got an ulcer with a habit to match it
In a bad temper so I'm grabbing a ratchet
Just to go along with it my stakes are high
To the people this is the way that I say goodbye
To my baby boy Terrance, parents so opposite
Just as smart as momma is, fiery as poppa gets
Just one thing little man you cannot forget
If your will is real nobody else can stop the *** *
**** I'm living proof, take a look and figure it
I grew up in a paradox and rather not forgive the ****
But I had to box out this box and I live with it
Boxed out of detox, they said I'm on some wigger ****
Hated, they were racist so I was facing bigger ****
Seen too many homies die just trying to dig a ditch
I philosophize all my life burning cigarettes
I became smarter but y'all returned to ignorant
If this was the last song I ever wrote
I'd tell you to grab it by the throat
If this is the last song I ever write
I'll tell you to stand back up and fight
Live your life, give your life
Stand up and fight, young man
Live your life, give your life
Stand up and fight, young man