Uneasy Rider

I was takin a trip out to LA,
toolin along in my Chevrolet,
tokin on a number and diggin on the radio
jes as I cross the Mississippi line
I heard that highway start to whine
and I knew that left rear tire was about to go
well the spare was flat and I got uptight
cause there wasnt a fillin station in sight
so I jes limped down the shoulder on the rim
I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
it was right in front of this little bar
a kind of a redneck lookin joint called the Dew Drop Inn
well I stuffed my hair up under my hat
and told the bartender that I had a flat
and would he be kind enough to give me change for a one
there was one thing I was sure proud to see
there wasnt a soul in the place cept for him an me
and he just looked disgusted an pointed toward the telephone
I called up the station down the road a ways
and he said he wasnt very busy tday
and he could have somebody there in jest bout ten minutes or so
he said now you jes stay right where yer at and I didnt bother
tellin
the durn fool I sure as hell didnt have anyplace else to go
I jes ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
when some guy walked in an said who owns this car
with the peace sign the mag wheels and four on the floor
well he looked at me and I damn near died
and I decided that Id jus wait outside
so I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the door
jes when I thought Id get outta there with my skin
these five big dude come strollin in
with this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth
an I was almost to the door when the biggest one
said you tip your hat to this lady son
an when I did all that hair fell out from underneath
now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
in Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
specially when there was three of them and only one of me
well they all started laughin and I felt kinda sick
and I knew Id better think of somethin pretty quick
so I jes reached out an kicked ol green-teeth right in the knee
he let out a yell thatd curl your hair
but before he could move I grabbed me a chair
and said watch him folks cause hes a thouroughly dangerous man
well you may not know it but this mans a spy
hes an undercover agent for the FBI
and hes been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan
he was still bent over holdin on to his knee
but everyone else was lookin and listenin to me
and I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went
I said would you beleive this man has gone as far
as tearin Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars
and he voted for George McGoveren for president
well hes a friend of them long-haired hippie type pinko fags
I betcha hes even got a Commie flag
Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage
hes a snake in the grass I tell ya guys
he may look dumb but thats jus a disguise
hes a mastermind in the ways of espionage
they all started lookin real suspicious at him
and he jumped up an said jes wait a minute jim
you know hes lyin Ive been livin here all of my life
Im a faithfull follower of Brother John Burch
and I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church
and I aint even got a garage you can call home and ask my wife
then he started sayin somethin bout the way I was dressed
but I didnt wait around to hear the rest
I was too busy movin and hopin I didnt run outta luck
and when I hit the ground I was makin tracks
and they were jes takin my car down off the jacks
so I threw the man a twenty an jumped in an fired that mother up
Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud
of the way I was movin when I passed that crowd
comin out the door and headin toward me in a trot
an I guess I shoulda gone ahead an run
but somehow I couldnt resist the fun
of chasin them jes once around the parkin lot
well theyre headin for their car but I hit the gas
and spun around and headed them off at the pass
well I was slingin gravel and puttin a ton of dust in the air
well I had them all out there steppin an a fetchin
like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin
but I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got there
when I hit the road I was really wheelin
had gravel flyin and rubber squeelin
an I didnt slow down til I was almost to Arkansas
I think Im gonna re-route my trip
I wonder if anybodyd think Id flipped
if I went to LA via Omaha!