Amnesia

I used to have
Peace, serenity, teaching divinity
Break bread, sipping the blood, eating with enemies
Blind, pearl on my mind thinking we fittin to be
This, that, and the third
Boy did I learn, tables turn
Billy holiday burned down to play when my nerves drowned my folks away
Swerving in the locomotive, far from my hopes and motives
Back to boasting at shows to get a standing O
From all the fans I know on some of that
sapphire rapid fire soul stuff I used to hit em off with
But now Im some ol 'pay the toll' for the way I played the role
Cautious when I lace a flow, cause, pose? think Im painting codes
Patience grown thin, home sick and havent been home since
Fuck a rapper, Im an actor in a film called:
'Leave me the fuck alone until I find a real job'
Busting chrome grills off at these soft hearted breakbeats bouncing with 808s and gray ink
Blue heart, red skies, true art died in the heart of my mind
Kept trying to fulfill this, blank scribbled realness, even if it kills this
Poet inside
Used to speak sweet with sympathy
Tease to mimic me, sunshine every line you ever sent to me
Heaven sent, heavenly scent that later crippled me, shit
Simple men dont learn, where was your empathy?
Couldnt see the fork in the road
Kept straight forward, straight towards a humble abode we both hate more
Now that I fumbled and folded that open letter said 'dead men walking dont dream'
You taped yours, and you told me I could rent it
Thought it was invented for my viewing pleasure
Human error, the apprentice turned teacher, preacher turned God
Couldnt reach ya, just a faade, the main feature
Modified for blogs, podcast the past, hi-definition, she laughed
Pass the message, now Im guessing that the jokes on me
Cause Im the only one threatened
The wretched by the windows sketching
Pencil? the mural of the method, dont sweat it, techniques turning, burning incense
Listening to Billy burn my intent, definitive days that turn my nights to fiction
Friction-less, just a pen trynna pimp this stress, cause I couldnt keep a lid on my life
Naive as the dry leaves on the ground, looking past the tree to the blue sky asking:
Why me?