this time next year
ARTIE: Hey, Gillis! Wed give you up. Let me take your coat. Jesus, Joe, whats this made of? Mink?
Who did you borrow this from? Adolphe Menjou?
JOE: Close , but no cigar. Hey! Its quite a crowd
ARTIE: I invited all the kids doing walk-ons in 'Samson and Delilah'
BETTY: Where have you been hiding? I called your apartment. I called your ex-agent.
I was about to call the Bureau of Missing Persons
JOE: Well, they always know where to find me
RICHARD A: You gotta say your New Years resolution out loud. Jean!
JEAN: By this time next year
Ill have landed a juicy part
STEVE: Nineteen fifty will be my start
RICHARD T: No more carrying spears
MARY: Ill be discovered
My life wont ever be the same
Billy Wilder will know my name
And hell call all the time
KATHERINE: Til he does, can one of you guys lend her a dime?
ALISA: Just an apartment
With no roaches and no dry rot
ANITA: Where the hot water comes out hot
BOTH: Thats my Hollywood dream
RICHARD A: Your resolution
JOANNA: Is to write something that gets shot
With approximately the plot
I first had in my head
MYRON: But youll get rewritten even after youre dead
RICHARD A: Artie!
ARTIE: Its the year to begin a new life
Buy a place somewhere quiet, somewhere pretty
When you have a young kid and a wife
Then you need somewhere green, far from the city
Its a rambling old house with a big apple tree
With a swing for the kid and a hammock for me
SAMMY: Behold, my children
It is I, Cecil B. DeMille
Meeting me must be quite a thrill
ADAM: But theres no need to kneel
SAMMY: I guarantee you
Every girl in my chorus line
Is a genuine Philistine
SANDY: They dont come off the shelf
SAMMY: I flew every one in from Philistia myself
BETTY: I have some good news. Its 'Blind Windows'
JOE: You dont let go
BETTY: I gave Sheldrake an outline, Joe
And he swallowed the bait
JOE: Well, hallelujah!
BETTY: While youve been buying vicuna coats
Ive been making a lot of notes
Now theres work we should do
JOE: Betty, youre forgetting that I gave it to you
You remind me of me long ago
Off the bus, full of ignorant ambition
Thought Id waltz into some studio
And achieve overnight recognition
Ive seen too many optimists sinking like stones
Felt them suck all the marrow clean out of my bones
BETTY: I love ' Blind Windows'
But I cant write it on my own
Cant we speak on the telephone?
All my evenings are free
ARTIE: Hey, just a minute
Im the fellow who bought the ring
BETTY: Artie, this is a business thing
Its important to me
Youll be on location in Clinch, Tennessee
Please make this your New Years resolution for me
ALL: By this time next year
I will get my foot in the door
Next year I know Im going to score
An amazing success
Cut to the moment
When they open the envelope
Pass the statuette to Bob Hope
And its my name you hear
Well be down on our knees
Outside Graumans Chinese
Palm prints there on the street
Immortalitys neat
This time next year
This time next year
Well have nothing to fear
Contracts all signed
Three-picture deal
Yellow brick road career
Hope were not still saying these things
This time next year
JOE: You know, I think I will be available in the New Year. In fact, Im available right now
BETTY: Joe, thats great!
JOE: Hey, Artie, wheres your phone?
ARTIE: Under the bar
JOE: Hey, Artie . You think you could put me up for a couple of weeks?
ARTIE: It just so happens weve got a vacancy on the couch
JOE: Ill take it
MAX: Yes?
JOE: Max, its Mr. Gillis. I want you to do me a favor
MAX: Im sorry, Mr. Gillis. I cant talk right now
JOE: Listen, I want you to take my old suitcases...
MAX: Im sorry, I am attending to Madame
JOE: What do you mean?
MAX: Madame found the razor in your room. And shes cut her wrists
ALL: Three, two, one, Happy New Year!
Should auld acquiantance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquiantance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne