You call me up on the phone and ask me to come over and cuddle
I think you must want me or else youd be a little more subtle
We go into your room
Get in your bed
My lap is where you decide to rest your head
And just as Im about to make my move you say
Youre my straight gay friend my straight gay friend
Youre closer to me than the rest of those men
Too sweet to try to get in my pants
I appreciate you not trying to advance
And I say dont mention it Im here for you
But the subtext is damn it my balls are blue
I cant believe I just got LJBFed again
Another lets just be friends!
Well Im out at the bar and I see her standing there (Dude she is so freakin hot)
She walks up to me and runs her fingers through my hair (Aw yeah!)
We drive back to her place
She says take off your shirt
Im gonna change out of this tiny skirt
So it doesnt get dirty, then whats that I see in your hand
Its a can of paint and a roller too
She said you seem like such a nice guy so heres what well do
Well paint my room watch Will and Grace on TV
Just like when it was my brother and me
Youre my straight gay friend my straight gay friend
Youre closer to me than the rest of those men
Youre cute and nonthreatening and nice to me
Thanks for being that way baby
I say dont worry about it thats nice of you to say
But In my mind were doing it ten different ways
I cant believe I justgot LJBFed again
Another lets just be friends
What you girls dont understand
Is that guys like me weve got enough friends
And it fills me up with so much spite
When you talk about the douchebag you were with last night
Im finally doing it right with this awesome hotty
She says sweet words to me and is feeling all over my body
When we wake up from that crazy night
I look at you and realize my eyes were not right
That beer made my brain lie shes a big old cow
And when she tries to make a move right now
I say Lets just be friends lets just be friends
I know it felt like that night would never end
But you seem so nice dont want ruin it with ***
I gotta go now but Ill give you a text
I run for the hills and cant help but feel hexed
And you ladies out there really get me vexed
Im gonna staple a sign to my face that says
Ive got no interest in being your friend (Being your friend!)
Lets Just Be Friend