Oxygin

I know I need to learn to live with all the things I can't change
我明白，就算所有的努力都无济于事我也得苟活下去
I hate the fact that I feel nothing or I'm reeling in pain
我恨自己一无是处，每一天我被痛苦折磨得满地打滚
I need to shake this ****ing habit, so I try, but I can't
我发誓我会戒掉它，我真的努力了可是没用啊
And I look down on other addicts when we're one and the same
你在我的每一根血管里汹涌，其他的恶习也蠢蠢欲动
Remember back, I'm pushin' twenty, those were simpler times
我时常回忆着，在一切都还那么单纯的时候
That's when we met,
那时我才二十岁出头，而你却瞄准了我
And ever since you're never far from my mind
从此我再也摆脱不了你的梦魇
I broke my ankle playin' ball, and so it's you I'm prescribed
我在球场上扭伤了脚踝，医生说这是你干的好事
And even through all of the pain, you make me feel I could fly
你让我痛苦不堪，却又让我如陷梦幻
A couple weeks, and now you're gone
一周过后，你代谢出了我的身体
And now I'm feelin' the stress
可我却感觉大难临头
I always wanted to feel something, maybe nothing is best
我好想努力地活着，虽然我死掉的话对谁都好
My friends and family start to question if I'm feelin' depressed
朋友和妈妈盘问我是不是精神出了问题
But I don't really give a damn, just put me back on the meds
踏马的我不想回答你们，把我扔进医院自生自灭算了吧！
I've been lost in my head
我的大脑一片空白
My homie Jack said he dealt with the same shit
Jack安慰我说“没事，我也酗酒”
He said he started drinkin' to deal with the pain quick
他说酒精可以瞬解千愁
All you need is a fifth and it's cool to remain lit
度数越高越好，人越醉也就越酷
So he handed me a bottle, said, "Take about eight sips"
说着他把玻璃瓶塞进我怀里，“再八口！”
I'm faded, but I wanna feel straight numb
我分离崩析，却乐在其中
So I drink the rest of the bottle, liquor burnin' my gums
我把剩下的一口闷完，酒精如汽油灼烧我的牙龈
Woke up the next day at around a quarter to one
醒来时新的一天已经过半
My peers would say that "Man I had fun, right?"
哥们问我，“够爽，是吧？”
I've been lyin', I've been sayin' I'm fine
对不起，对不起，我其实一直都很不好
But I've been feeling low and I don't know why
我不知道为什么我如此失落
Another night, I feel empty inside
无数个空虚的夜晚里
Down bottle after bottle of whatever I find
我把脚边的空瓶子悉数打翻
Feel the weight lift off me
天空的重压仿佛全部在我的肩膀上
Someone tell my mom I'm sorry
有人对我妈妈道歉，可是一切都晚了
I don't wanna lie, I've been losin' my mind
讲真，我已经认不出我自己了
They tell me "Take a pill" until I feel alright
他们却说“磕点药，一切就好起来了”
The present day been feelin' sick,
最近我依然觉得糟糕透顶
Think I'm just bidin' my time
我知道我在拿我的生命做赌注
I take a shot of somethin' strong to keep that shit off my mind
我把一切希望都寄托在药物上，希望能够彻底戒掉过往
All my friends started families and they left you behind
我的朋友们成家立业，唯独我一事无成
And here I am drinkin' any can or bottle I find
于是找到一瓶酒，我又撬开了它
My body took you in as blood and so we're never apart
你与我的血融为了一体，你就是叮进我骨髓的蚂蟥
Some real shit, you the closest someone's been to my heart
所有人离我而去，只有你对我不离不弃，真讽刺啊
But just like everything I love, you ****in' tear me apart
可是你却活生生把我撕碎
Just like everything I love, you ****in' tear me apart
就像所有我爱的人对我做的那样
I wanna be there for my son, daughter, wife—
我想抱抱我的儿子，我的女儿，我的妻子...
I mean my ex-wife now
...嗯，虽然她早已不再是我的妻子了
I guess that time really flies when you're drunk on the couch
窝在沙发里吨吨吨时，一切都开始加速
I wanna shake this ****in' habit, I just don't know how
我真的想要戒掉啊！可是谁能告诉我到底该怎么做啊！
So you would love to see me sick until I almost drown
看着我下去，你笑得那么开心
And so you keep me on the brink of barely livin' and death
你让我离开了你就生不如死
As long as I'm alive, yeah, you know you're gettin' my cheque
活了这么久，原来我生命的把柄全握在你手中
You pray my son and daughter will follow me in my steps
你说你想让我的儿女重蹈我的覆辙
You'll create our loves a fact
那样我们同样可以相爱
That I'm broke and broken and in debt
我就这样家破人亡
Can go a day without food, I can't go a day without you
颗米未进也要在你面前苦苦求饶
When I try, I get the shakes 'til my face turns blue
每天我都在与自己作斗争，我全身抽搐面色惨白
Lost my job, wife, life for a bottle of booze
工作，爱情与生活被汹涌的酒水卷走
You promised you would make me happy, we know that's not true
你曾虚伪地对我发誓会让我快乐
I tried every drug in the book, but they never hit me the same
我找遍了所有书中的解药，依然收效甚微
I told my doc that I'm down, he put some pills in my name
我对医生说我真的要撑不下去了，医生依然推给我一瓶药片
It doesn't matter the problem, the fix is always the same
没有用，我说了它们真的没有用
Always takin' the easy route,
就像那些人人都懂的大道理
Like I'm never willin' to change, damn
就像我从来不曾下定决心改变自己:(
Now blamin' everybody but me
我总是把责任推卸到别人身上
With you inside my system, everybody used to love me
曾经我还是被人喜欢过的
But now my friends, family, my kids, they can't even trust me
可自从你住进了我的身体后，亲友们都不再相信我
Been losin' all my control and I let you ****in' become me
现在你彻底控制了我的一切
No more! I said no ****in' more!
住手啊！从我的身体里出去啊！
I know you think I'm lyin', I said this to you before
你依然不相信，因为你说我戒不掉你
This time I'm ****in' ready, it's time to show you the door
你错了，这一次我再也不会如此脆弱
This life is mine, it never was yours!
我不会再任由你摆布了，我要抓住我的生活！
I've been lyin', I've been sayin' I'm fine
日复一日，我都假装自己挺好的
But I've been feelin' low and I don't know why
可是伪装真的好累好累
Another night, I feel empty inside
夜晚的空洞该由谁来填补呢
Down bottle after bottle of whatever I find
由这些叮当作响的玻璃容器吗
Feel the weight lift off me
我就这样被踩在脚底
Someone tell my mom I'm sorry
听见一句脆弱的对不起
I don't wanna lie, I've been losin' my mind
有机会我会直接告诉你，我下一秒就要崩溃了
They tell me "Take a pill" until I feel alright
可他们依然相信，没有什么是药物无法解决的:(