Nevers Road

Yeah, I think about it quite often, I wonder if you can hear me
Sometimes I pick up on signs that you sent to show that you're near me
Sometimes I think about life after death and question the theories
I miss your smile and your voice, I still remember it clearly
I wrote a song called "Last Letter," I put the volume on max
I wonder if you look down on my life and get a good laugh
And then tell Grandma and the others that you're proud you're my Dad
I wish I'd cherished every single ****in' moment we had
Now it's too late, so many things I wish I said, just never had time to say
How can you feel so close from a million miles away?
It's crazy what can change in a year, a month, or a day
I know I'm flawed and so "perfect" is somethin' I never claim
They say, "The strongest storms show the strongest roots"
I always knew that one lie could change a hundred truths
I always cherished when you told me, "I believe in you"
I hope that you can forgive me for how I treated you
Thinkin' back, I blamed you for all of my ****in' demons
You drank another bottle, could never fathom the reasons
It took too long to get you the help that you really needed
One day when I win a Grammy, I hold it up, so you see it
I promise, I know you know I'm a man of my word
Lately feelin' less and less adapted to handling hurt
Actin' like they know my ****in' life 'cause they're fans of my work
Others are nice to get what they want 'cause they're fans of my worth
Can't tell the real from the fake, can't tell the fake from the real
Broken and empty inside, told me in time I would heal
OCD wreckin' my brain, I don't want nothin' the same
Dropped the whole album at once, write it all over again
Write it all over again, write it all over again
Feel like I'm goin' insane, want to feel good for a change
I keep ignorin' the pain, there is nobody to blame
Tell me they love me for me, then they throw dirt on my name, damn
"The darkest nights make the brightest stars"
I tell myself that every time I feel like life gets hard
We've come a long ****in' way since our "Kindest Regards"
And still I feel like my whole life is just waitin' to start
I could've lost it all in that crash, the lights flash
It's feelin' like something's jabbed in my back
The car's spinnin', my whole body's cut and covered in glass
And when we stop, I see my stomach slowly turnin' to black
That made me realize my whole life is truly fragile at best
Sometimes I stress until I physically feel pain in my chest
I ruminate, that's like my mind is always stuck on reset
I heard my Grandma's fightin' cancer, Mom just sent me a text
I know we always butted heads and never saw eye-to-eye
But at this rate, I've seen too many in my family die
Apologize for holding grudges, such a waste of my time
So I just wanna say "I love you" while you're here and alive
Some people don't know the difference of being human and human-being
I'm only lettin' things inside my life, now they give it meaning
I'm only lettin' things inside my mind, now they keep me dreaming
I'm only lettin' things inside my heart, now they keep it beating
That's real
Yeah
Dan told me, "Jump on this beat and let it all spill"
I wonder if I lost it all if they would call still
Some people tend to forget, but I know we all feel
I put my soul on display and that's what they call "real"
Stop holdin' on, if it's holding you back, then let it go
Your grass will always be the greenest if you let it grow
They said I'll never be anything, guess you never know
No matter how far we'd go, we started at Nevers Road
Nevers Road