A Question
Is it enough that you succeed or does someone else need to fail?
成功是自我的勝利，還是將他人踩在腳下？
Theres a lot that my soul still needs and my heart has left a bleeding trail
靈魂暴食而不知足，心臟的傷口仍流血不止
To balance out my order/chaos dynamic
為在秩序與混亂中尋求動態平衡
I derive joy from anything that isnt panic
我不再從圍觀恐慌亂像中獲取快樂
Because life doesnt get easier, but our strength moves like meteors
人生舉步維艱，而人的鬥志只如流星轉瞬即逝
And lately, Im not afraid of monsters as much as Im afraid of becoming one
如今我不再畏懼怪物，而是更擔憂成為怪物
My mind has been hiding the imposters and the thought of revenge sometimes sounds like fun
大腦藏起虛偽的邪念和樂趣驅使的複仇之火
So I begin to run so I dont get lost in what was
我瘋狂奔跑，只為不站在原地迷失
Removing my pride so I dont feel so undone
我拋棄傲氣，只為欺騙自我並非一事無成
Its crazy what a soul can become
難以相信，靈魂竟能劣化到如此地步
Cause you have to make your opponent seem reprehensible so you dont have to take them seriously
你貶低對手的道德，從而說服自己可以輕敵
But freedom from the chains of depression are obtainable when I can talk to myself fearlessly
只有與自己坦誠對話，自由才能擺脫抑鬱的鐐銬
So, I turn to songs and music and bands that feel honest
我轉而投入歌曲，音樂和樂隊尋求真誠
Music where Im finally not paying for the name, but Im actually paying for the product
但音樂不再是它自己，而是包裝好的商品
I promise that Im echoing the message that I was taught when I was facing trauma
創傷帶來的教訓層層累加，但我屢教不改
I wrote about the real stuff in my life and now I feel like Ive lost it
我把生活寫進歌裡，但生活卻離我漸遠
That sense of comfort of knowing no one reallyknows me
無人關心我反而安心
Because Im afraid of my mistakes and I dont like feeling lonely
因為我害怕一朝不慎就被他人拋棄
So I ask, you dont need to stay, but before you leave, could you at least hold me?
故我問，你離開之前，能否與我相擁？
I hate feeling this depression
我厭惡每日頹喪
I hate making first impressions
我厭惡刻意打造第一印象
I hate digging my head in the sand
我厭惡頭埋進沙裡麻痺自己
And I hate not having your attention
我厭惡得不到你的注意
I hate that theres hate in my heart
我甚至厭惡這厭惡情緒
And I promise that itll someday leave me
創造藝術儘管讓我壓抑，卻也使我圓滿
But the moments I spend creating art are the only ones that I feel can still complete me
創造藝術儘管讓我壓抑，卻也使我圓滿
And Ill say 'I love you' to my dad more often, now that my mom is living in heaven
母親已享天國之樂，我只好把愛都表達給父親
Ill stop complaining about the past and Ill stop hoping things were just more even
我不再抱怨過去，不再奢望落定塵埃可以改變
And I wont complain about the rules, even when I feel that the game is not fair
人生遊戲無論多不公平，我也不再抗議規則
Because life can end in one quick second and its time that I begin to care
生命可能在一剎那熄滅，我決意珍惜當下
I want to pray more often and I want to talk less
多做祈禱，少說廢話
I want to let love begin to blossom and stop living in mess
我想讓愛搬離腐臭淤泥，在陽光下開花
I want to focus on my physical health and stop indulging when Im depressed
我想重獲健康，而不在抑鬱時越陷越深
I want to make life less about fearing hell and more about the love we possess
我想讓生活不再籠罩在陰影下，而是關心擁有的愛
And I want to feel beautiful even in the moments that I regret
即使在我懊悔萬分時，我也想愛我自己
I just wantto feel beautiful
我只是想愛我自己啊