music to walk home to

Yeah
So I'm walking home; I'm just walking home, all on my own
There's literally no-one else awake except me and the bloke selling hot dogs outside the station
And what a wild night it's been

Two blokes dressed up as bananas join the party saying that they've just taken a huge pay rise at their dream job, great
So you work 35 hours a week pushing paper for someone who doesn't even know you exist, great
So you've got a promotion and sit next to Vicky from accounts who you say is somewhat of a potential love interest, well either way she's at least a bit of eye candy apparently

"And what about you, what keeps you busy?"
Well, excuse me my slippery skinned friend, I must be going now
And just like that I was off, just me myself and I again, no distractions, alone with my thoughts
And what a wild night it's been

Cocktails and disco biscuits
And the night bus can be a terrifying place
But just a short walk past the hardware store and across the crossroads and then home
Finally

Take these jeans off, slip out of these shoes and stare at the ceiling and let some kind of repetitive salsa music drift me off to the land of nod

I sure hope I can sleep tonight
I'm awfully tired
In fact, **** that, I'm tired as ****
And avoiding these puddles that seem to have gathered since I left mine is a little bit of a drain

(Last night got far too crazy)
(We ate some disco biscuits) I slowly make my way down the road
(You got sideways ****ed up) Tarmac and white lines
(I couldn't feel my fingers) Tarmac and white lines

Thank God we got rid of those bananas hey?
Why? Why?

Why is it that when you're ruined all your interactions seem to have a mysterious undertone?
Like wait, did I just meet my cousin?
Or maybe a future lover?
Or, "Hey you look just like that guy that works at my local Londis!"

Bartenders hey, **** those guys
Like yeah I get it, I used to work at bar too
But come on, I'm trying to have fun here and you're being a proper vibe vacuum
A vampire, vacuuming up every last drop of my enthusiasm until I am nothing but a sorry little raisin
Bananas and raisins

(Last night got far too crazy) I sure hope I have toast at home
(We ate some disco biscuits) Cheese on toast, salt and pepper, Lea and Perrins, wow!
(You got sideways ****ed up)
(I couldn't feel my fingers)

Game changer, you have just changed my life
Thank you so much for showing up and I genuinely appreciate the guidance

Hm, my legs are aching a little now
But either way, not far, not far
Come on Murray, not far at all, keep on going
And each Uber that glides silently past me is like a lonely ghost of some pre-existing supercar, that once roared and snarled at the traffic lights, reduced to nothing but a quivering silent pseudo suitable tin can

Ah, finally I've made it
Where are my keys?
Okay, don't be silly they're in your hand
Why you making this long?
Just go through the door
Okay, waiting for the lift now
And brace yourself, for when the lift's door opens
And then the huge full length mirror
Me in all my drunken glory

(Last night got far too crazy) Kinda wish I got a photo with those weird banana men now
(We ate some disco biscuits) But it's okay, 4th floor here I come!
(You got sideways ****ed up) Ahhhh, Flat 65
(I couldn't feel my fingers) It's good to be back

Keys in the door, feeling good, feeling good and home at last
And what a wild night it's been
Especially for a school night
Won't be doing that again in a hurry

Okay, turning my phone off now and um you can keep the music playing, by all means, just perhaps turn it down a little if that's cool?
Yeah, much better, thank you
Oh, and just quickly about tomorrow, I was thinking about taking Ayra and Harley out for a walk and then probably just chill, read a book or something
Yeah
Ha, ha
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Alright
Hey, it's been a pleasure!
Yeah, thanks
Speak tomorrow
Sweet dreams and yeah
Blah, blah, blah
Alright; goodnight