gunshot lullabies

Looking for something that is real
I can't remember how to feel
The moments pass before my eyes
Make it hard to say goodbye
Staring straight into the sun
Life pouring from my hands like dust
Empty heart and jet black lungs
What have I become?
Am I dead or am I alive?
I don't feel at all
Like I did when I was young
I'm feeling dead inside
But I'm too afraid to die
And I despise
The world I see through blood shot eyes
I look up to the sky and fall asleep
To gunshot lullabies, lullabies
And though it seems I've sealed my fate
My life's a canvas I will paint
An image of myself I hate
But can anyone relate?
In the midst of life and death
Living under this regret
If I give up will I find rest
Cause I haven't found it yet
Am I dead or am I alive?
I don't feel at all
Like I did when I was young
I'm feeling dead inside
But I'm too afraid to die
And I despise
The world I see through blood shot eyes
I look up to the sky and fall asleep
To gunshot lullabies, lullabies
I'd like to speak of love and all it's glory
Instead I write it out in sadder stories
I try to fill the void with anything at all
But I can't
I don't feel at all
Like I did when I was young
I'm feeling dead inside
I don't feel at all
Like I did when I was young
I'm feeling dead inside
But I'm too afraid to die
And I despise
The world I see through blood shot eyes
I look up to the sky and fall asleep
To gunshot lullabies, lullabies
To gunshot lullabies, lullabies