God, I Hate Shakespeare

God, I hate Shakespeare!
Thats right, I said it!
No!
I do! I hate Shakespeare!
Why?
I just dont get it
How a mediocre actor from a measly little town
Is suddenly the brightest jewel in Englands royal crown
Oh God I hate Shakespeare
His plays are wordy but oh no!
The 'great' Shakespeare!
That little turd
He has no sense about the audience he makes them feel so dumb
The bastard doesnt care that my poor ass is getting numb
How can you say that?
How can you say that?
Its easy, I can say it cause its absolutely true!
Dont be a penis, the man is a genius!
His genius is hes fooling all of you!
But hes brilliant
What majesty flows from his pen
His poetry soars like a sweet violin
Gods own inspiration like lightning doth strike him
And he captures my soul!
You should hate Shakespeare!
Well no I dont, I try to emulate Shakespeare!
Well theres your problem! Youre so blinded by 'The Bard' whos such a pompous little man
Why is it a problem to admit that Im a fan?
Cause hes a hack
With a knack
For stealing anything he can
How can you say that?
How can you say that?
The man really knows how to write a bitchin play!
You wish you could pen one
We wish we were in one
I just wish that he would go away!
Well thats not gonna happen,
Because everyone I know says that hes the greatest writer that Englands ever known!
And thats anotherthing I hate aboutShakespeare!
Is all the twits who bloviate about Shakespeare!
And how they prattle on about his great accomplishments,
Well la-di-da-di-dah!
And once they start their gushing theres no stopping them
And then its 'blah blah blah blah blah Shakespeare!'
And he walks in, its 'dum da dum ta da Shakespeare!'
Hes holding court and they say
' Will youre such a genius and your writing is divine,
A rose by any other name is such a clever line!'
And theyre all 'ooh!'
And hes all 'stop'
And theyre all 'yay'
And Im all 'ugh'
And Im REALLY getting sick of it!
And oh, oh, oh, oh,
I hate Shakespeare!
I think by now we sort of know you hate Shakespeare!
Shmakespeare!
The way he feigns humility when all he does is gloat
The way he wears that silly frilly collar 'round his throat
The poster child for why no one should ever procreate
Let me make a shorter list so I can give it to you straight:
Every little thing about Shakespeare
Is what I hate!
He hates! He hates!
He clearly surely really truly hates Shakespeare!
Dont hate!