It Could Always Be Worst

Depression hittin
Its getting worst and I cant seem to listen
To the voice inside my head that tell me I can make a difference
Cause Im stuck inside the one that tell me I should not be livin
Well, its hard to see the beauty when Im caught in tunnel vision
Do I like to feel this way? Its like Im searching for the pain
Cause I know if I wanted change, that it would have to start today
But Im lazy and Id rather waste my time inside my bed
Im contemplating over words that just wish I nevеr said
And all the texts that I would send that I wish you nеver read
Cause Id be lying if I told you that I wish I wasnt dead
All I gots a little hope that one day I wont be alone
And that the pain will fade and go, but how am I supposed to know?
Cause theres nothing in a life that is a promise
I really hope if I would grab the rope, that somebody would stop it
Heads in the clouds, sun in my eyes
Im done looking back, its a waste of my time
I wanna feel home, everything is alright
Ill be feeling this soul for the rest of my life
I wanna go back to when I was young
Finding shame for the things that Ive done
Heart on my sleeve, hittin the woods
Got to hold on, it could always be worse
I left a message on your phone, I really hope that you reply
I know for you its not important, but for me its do or die
I wonder why Im in this place
Why you tell meto my face
That Im the cause of all your problems and Im taking up your space?
Or how the air that you breathe is not created for me?
Ive got some problems, now you watchin while I ruin everything
Ive got a question, how I never seem to learn my lesson
How I never grasp the point, only grab the Smith & Wesson
Yeah, I keep a thousand yard stare and its apparent
That my family name perished, Im a ****ing embarrassment
When a single good day is an event, its like a miracle
Im getting off [?], now Im starting on the seroquel
But honestly, I need a little space to breathe
A way to clear my mind and learn to live with my deficiencies
A shame I turn to substances to cope
I know its rough to see
A life devoid of purpose filled with pain is not enough for me
Heads in the clouds, sun in my eyes
Im done looking back, its a waste of my time
I wanna feel home, everything is alright
Ill be feeling this soul for the rest of my life
I wanna go back to when I was young
Finding shame for the things that Ive done
Heart on my sleeve, hittin the woods
Got to hold on, it could always be worse
Ill be stuck with my mistakes, I wear my heart up on my sleeve
So everybody could just see where Ive been cut and left to bleed
All the scars and open wounds that Ive been trying hard to heal
Like all the memories of us that I just wish someone would steal
My insecurities are bound to get the best of me
But maybe when I will be dead then I will finally rest in peace
Cause lately I cant seem to ever find a way to fall asleep
The nightmares running through my head but I dont think I ever dream
Afraid of who I was and knowing that hes never far behind
Creep into my mind and tell me I will never be alright
Theres no way I could find anyone to ever fill me up inside
Im broke, Im losing hope , and you dont see my life for living lives
Smiles on my face
And all the words that I would say to make them finally go away
I even said Im doing great, I know you know it isnt true
You see what Ive been going through
It isnt ever shocking news when I would play this song for you
Heads in the clouds, sun in my eyes
Im done looking back, its a waste of my time
I wanna feel home, everything is alright
Ill be feeling this soul for the rest of my life
I wanna go back to when I was young
Finding shame for the things that Ive done
Heart on my sleeve, hittin the woods
Got to hold on, it could always be worse
Yeah