Addicted

I swear to God they'll probably never understand me
上帝作證，他們可能永遠不會理解我
Sick of just walking around, pretending I'm happy
厭倦了四處遊蕩，假裝開心
Feel like collapsing from all weight that I carry
我感覺自己都要被壓垮了
But I just keep it pushing and pop me another Xanny
但我一直在推動它，給我再來一個Xanny（Xanax阿普唑侖，治療焦慮、抑鬱藥物）
Know it's sad but I remember as a kid it was rough
我知道這很糟糕，但我記得當我還是個孩子的時候，生活很艱難
Always thought we had it all, what I was missing was love
一直以為我們擁有一切，我卻錯過了愛
And always drowning in some waters that were thicker than blood
一直溺死在比血還濃稠的水里
Still they wonder how the **** I got addicted to drugs, damn
該死，他們還在想我是怎麼上癮的
But they don' t get that I'm avoiding feeling pain
但他們不明白我只是在逃避痛苦
Only time I feel alive is when there's poison in my veins
只有當我的血管裡有藥物的時候我才覺得活著
Momma telling me to look at what I'm doing to myself
媽媽讓我看看我把自己變成了什麼樣
But I just wanna be ****ing happy like everybody else
但我他媽只想和其他人一樣開心
They looking down on me like I'm the ****ing villain
他們瞧不起我，好像我是個該死的惡棍
I don't wanna talk about it, I know they don't wanna listen
我不想談這個，我知道他們也不想听
I was only tryna make up for the feeling I was missing
我只是試著彌補我失去的感覺
If I'm only feeling pain, tell me, what's the point of living
如果我只感到痛苦，告訴我，活著的意義是什麼
Every day I'm waking up and tryna deal with the stress
每天醒來，我都在努力應對壓力
And I've been acting like I'm happy when my life is a mess
雖然我的生活一團糟，我仍然表現得很開心
And all I know is that I got this ****ing pain in my chest
我只知道我的胸口很疼
And I would love to get clean but I'm too ****ing depressed, damn
該死，我很想戒癮但我太他媽抑鬱了
Momma's panicking and losing her faith
媽媽驚慌失措，失去了信念
Came to tell me 'bout a rehab in a beautiful place
她告訴我在一個美麗的地方有個康復中心
She said, 'Just checking up if you was awake'
她說'只是想看看你是否清醒'
She broke down when she seen her son blue in the face and thought
當她看到兒子臉色發青，陷入沉思時，她崩潰了
No one ever told me it would be this hard
沒人告訴過我會這麼容易上癮
Never really thought that it would take my life, no
從未想過它會奪走我的人生，從未
I just want the pain to ****ing go away, eh, eh, eh-eh
我只是想讓痛苦消失啊
Once upon a time we were the happiest couple
我們曾經是最幸福的一對
Knew we always had each other, never had any trouble
我們一直擁有彼此，從未有過任何矛盾
Always had each other's backs if we happened to struggle
如果我們遇到困難，總是會互相支持
I left some people in the past and they were mad that I loved you
我離開了從前的一些人，他們因為我沉迷於你而生氣
Said it's only puppy love, I knew that wasn't the case
他們說那隻是稚愛（少男少女間短暫的愛情），我知道不是這樣的
I remember getting nervous when I brought you on dates
我記得帶你去約會時我很緊張
Conversations 'bout the future and copping our own place
關於未來的對話，還有我們自己的房子
Talking 'bout the day you'd be sharing my last name
說著有一天會以你之名冠我之姓
I think I'd loved since the time that we met
我想我從我們相遇時就愛上了你
You had my heart and to be honest you was taking my breath
你擁有我的心，並且說實話，你讓我喘不過氣來
All my homies said that I became a little obsessed
我所有的兄弟都說我有點痴迷了
Never thought that you would get up and leave me ****ing depressed, damn
該死，從沒想過你會讓我這麼沮喪
How could you leave me girl, I thought you were the one
你怎麼能離開我，女孩，我視你為唯一
Treated you like a queen, never lied to you once
待你如女王，從沒騙過你
Now I feel like I'm drowning and there's water filling me lungs
水灌滿了我的肺，現在我感覺自己快溺死了
I don't wanna be alone, I'm afraid of who I've become
我不想一個人，我害怕自己變成這樣
You're gone and I ****ing hate it, I feel like I'm suffocating
你走了，我討厭這樣，我覺得自己快要窒息了
You ripped my ****ing heart out and never tried to replace it
你他媽把我的心都挖出來了卻從來沒想過替代它
Now when I think about you all I feel is disgust
現在我一想到你就覺得噁心
You were all I ever wanted, thanks for ****ing it up
你就是我所想要的全部，真他媽謝謝你搞砸了
Everybody that's around me know that something is wrong
我周圍的人都知道有點不對勁
They always try to tell me love is the strongest drug of 'em all
他們總是試圖告訴我，愛是最強大的藥物
You know what, huh, I'ma go and see for myself
你知道嗎，我要自己去看看
Let me pop a couple Xannys, I'ma see if it helps
讓我來點Xanny，看看有沒有用
Oh my God, I think I finally feel alive again
天啊，我覺得我終於又活過來了
Oh my God, I think I'm finally 'bout to smile again
天啊，我想我終於又要笑了
And I just started sleeping better at night
我開始在晚上睡得好了
I think I finally found the feeling of what heaven is like
我想我終於找到了天堂的感覺
They're getting rid of all my stress when I'm torn
當我心情不好的時候，它們幫我排憂解難
And I could tell that they're relieving all my pressure for sure
我敢肯定它們在緩解我的壓力
Soon my dealer told me that he couldn't get me anymore
不久，我的交易商告訴我，他再也無法幫我買到了
Now I'm feeling way sicker than I ever did before
現在我覺得比以前更難受了
Shit, I can't even take a brief intermission
該死，我連短暫的休息都做不到
Without me throwing up and feeling like a piece of me's missing
不能嘔吐，感覺我的身體少了一部分
There was a time I needed love, now I need aperscription
曾經我需要愛，現在我需要一個藥方
I'm done with living like this, I'd rather lethal injection
我受夠了這樣的生活，我寧願注射死刑
'Cause all I think about is pills when I open my eyes
因為當我睜開眼睛，我滿腦子想的都是藥片
And every day I'm waking up and feeling broken inside
每天我醒來，內心都感到支離破碎
When all I really wanted was to feel happy for once
我真正想要的只是開心一次
But now I'm losing myself and losing my family's trust, damn
但現在我失去了自我失去了家人的信任，該死
I really think these drugs have taken my soul
我真的覺得這些藥奪走了我的靈魂
Probably pop 'em till they put me in the grave and I'm cold
也許它們會把我送進冰冷的墳墓
But I can't point any fingers, I know the blame is my own
但我不能指責任何人，我知道這是我自己的錯
I got addicted to a ***** and that's the fate that I chose
我迷上了一個婊子，這就是我選擇的命運
No one ever told me it would be this hard
沒人告訴過我會這麼容易上癮
Never really thought that it would take my life, no
從未想過它會奪走我的人生，從未
I just want the pain to ****ing go away, eh, eh, eh-eh
我只是想讓痛苦消失啊
No one ever told me it would be this hard
沒人告訴過我會這麼容易上癮
Never really thought that it would take my life, no
從未想過它會奪走我的人生，從未
I just want the pain to ****ing go away, eh, eh, eh-eh
我只是想讓痛苦消失啊